sacred journeys reflections

20 Count Reflection for Augsut 1st, 2010

The number 5 represents "Open Hearted Communication"

When we first endeavour to communicate openly from the heart, we are faced with many challenges and obstacles that we must find the determination to traverse. It takes great courage and a leap of faith to openly communicate with another human being about what we are really feeling and thinking. Typically we are fraught with a variety of fears, doubts and foreboding concerns. We question how the other person will be impacted, will they be hurt, upset, angry, misinterpret or misunderstand what is being communicated. We have many attachments to our opinions and point of view, especially when they are the inner thoughts we share from the heart. There is a fear that we will be told we are wrong, or we will be judged for sharing what we are truly thinking. We rehearse and even act out both sides of the conversation in our heads so that we have all the angles figured out and gain a false sense of comfort that what we have to say will be heard and accepted. When we finally muster up the courage to speak, we usually find that the actual conversation turns out to be nothing like the one we practised. The disappointment of this deepens our belief that it is not safe to communicate openly from our hearts and therefore we deny ourselves the opportunity of true self expression. The end result is a life of inner isolation and the frustration of not feeling understood. The truth is that we lack the courage to speak without the need to be right and justified in what we have to say. We lack the tools and the skills to communicate openly and clearly, without any expectations for how it will be received, heard or accepted.

The talking stick is a powerful tool to help break through these communication blocks. For it to be used effectively, it requires the full cooperation of the people involved in the communication. The person holding the stick is the speaker and has the right to share whatever it is they need to say to the other person. The listener agrees to do just that, listen attentively to what is being said. Once the speaker is complete, they pass the stick to the listener, who now becomes the speaker. The first thing the speaker must do is repeat back what they have heard without any rebuttle, explanations or defending themselves. If the original speaker is not satisfied that the listener understood what they said, they take the stick back and clarify their original communication, this process is repeated until they feel they have been clearly heard. It is then the turn of the original listener to have their time to share their thoughts about the subject, and they too must be satisfied that they have been heard. This form of communication allows both people to be heard and to open the door to clear communication, without the need for one person to be right or to take power over the other person. Clear open hearted communication brings healing and allows a person to clear their minds of the clutter and burden of withheld thoughts, feelings and emotions which in turn allows for a greater lightness of being and sense of presence.